When fighting or selling, you always have an opponent/customer you meet in person. In sales especially, many times people say that one has two ears and one mouth, thus one needs to listen to more than talk. On the other hand, in many martial arts styles, the emphasis is on attacking techniques. Many times this is due to the fact that you train alone or with train a set pattern of techniques, which make the learning and repetition easy. But in which case should you play with your strengths and in which case should you capitalize on your opponent’s weaknesses?

In the year 2000, I was fighting in an open martial arts' tournament, where my opponent was a very strong in kicking and much taller than me. He had won a bronze medal in Tae Kwon Do European championships, thus excellent in keeping a distance and applying counter strikes, especially with kicks. I had previously that year, won a gold medal in world championships, but in under 58kgs class. Whereas, we were fighting that time in under 65kgs class. So I knew, when going to my training camp, that I couldn’t be using my normal strengths of keeping the distance and using my longer limbs to win the fight.

My coach and I knew, that I had to apply a different tactic to beat this guy, than what we normally used. Also, at the same time, we needed to prepare for the whole tournament and to win the other opponents as well. We decided to train 80% as we normally do and emphasis about 20% of the training time on training how to block and catch a kick. This would help me to take the game to a situation where strong kickers would be uncomfortable. And this would give me a chance to score points by taking the opponent to the ground.

I managed to win all the other fights, but against this guy, I lost on points. I did manage to catch his leg after a kick many times, but I wasn’t able to capitalize these situations, since most of my training efforts had been on catching the leg, not on what to do afterwards. Of course, one needs to catch the kick first and if that doesn’t work, then there is no chance to continue to a takedown either. But I didn’t win with just catching the leg. Our strategy was correct in trying to win the fight with his weaknesses, but fell short in not being able to train it to be my one of my strengths. We learned our lesson and next year, one of my teammates won a fights against him, by being able to continue with takedowns after catching the kick. We learned that to capitalize on opponent’s weakness is not sufficient by just recognizing it and having a plan towards it, but you need to build a strength to win the fight.

In sales the weakness is customer's need

With this perspective, you will look at your sales situation with different mindset as with what you would if you were trying to look for the weaknesses of your customer. Surely, you can spot weaknesses from your customer, but there is no point in "attacking" them, unless they are considered as needs by your customer. You have your benefits ready and see a spot where they would help the customer, but I would hold off, until you are sure that what you are about to introduce is really something that the customer needs. Sometimes, you need to build a new way to solve the customer's need, in order to win the deal. Prepare yourself as you would for a martial arts' fight. Build your strengths to match your opponent's weaknesses.

How to build strengths in sales

A lot of emphasis on sales training is spent on different sales techniques and how to ask questions. While as product training is often done, when a new feature or a new products are introduced. After that, it is up to the salesperson to get the needed information and update the knowledge. Customers are a good source for information and understanding how products helps them in practice. Customers are the ones, who in reality have benefited from using your solutions, thus know the best, about the advantages and benefits your company provides. They have chosen your company over your competitors and with some specific reasons in mind. The better you understand why your customers have bought from you and why they are happy with the purchasing decision, the better you will understand what are your strengths. While you talk with your customers and why they are happy to be your customer, you actually strengthen your relationships at the same time. It will be harder for your competitor to try to pitch in the next time.

How to open up weaknesses in a conversation

Apart from needs being weaknesses, there are also many sales tactics you can apply to your individual customer as a person. I briefly introduced SPIN-selling techniques in my previous post 'The way of perfection - is all about mistakes'. With SPIN-selling, you have a ready-made script for you conversation and you will get information which matters does your customer consider to be the most crucial parts to be fixed in her business. You will work with problems and see which of the current problems are actually troubling her and how she values the possible solution to fix these.

You might also want to read 'how to win a fight when your opponent is much better than you (part 2)', where I was writing about how to concentrate on your strengths and focus on being an expert, not only a salesperson who is trying to argue against a competitor.

Above mentioned strategies are both very effective and useful in a sales situation, but when it comes to getting to talk about customers weaknesses on a personal level, I consider more psychological aspect to be the most effective. I am not talking about how to lure your customer to trust you, but how to build trust in a way, where you will get the needed insights from your customer, in order to be able to provide valuable content to the conversation.

One of the best and most usable method is NLP. There you will try to find clues, on how to communicate to that person by using words and sentences, which the person reflects the best. Some people visualize the outcome. There you might say: "can you see what I mean". You can spot a person who likes to visualize things by seeing her looking up, when thinking of an answer for a deeper question. They might look outside of the window and their glance when thinking might be somewhat distant.

Some others are better in listening, thus their audible representational system is stronger. There you might say something like: "how does this sound for you". The third representational system is kinesthetic or simply put - touch oriented.

You adapt to your conversation partner and use words that are familiar to their approach. This helps you to build trust and your words to sink in better. I have noticed that people change their representational system from time to time. Sometimes, I like to look out of the window and think during a conversation. Some other time, I hold a pen in my hand and touch it. So, it is important to pay attention to the current situation at hand and adapt the words and sentences accordingly.

Tips for fighters about NLP

Check how your opponent is preparing himself for the fight. Does he need physical contact to feel his power just before the fight. Or is he concentrating on his own eyes closed. Is music and especially lyrics important for him. If he is a kinesthetic person, you might want to start with a rush in the beginning. Try to make him feel weaker than you. If he is a visual person, then you start with a smile and look like you believe in yourself and look like a winner. With an auditory person, you can say out loud to yourself a few words, which state that you are prepared and nobody can beat you.

If this tactic works well and you get into his mind, he will start feeling insecure and likely will reveal his tactics with strengths and weaknesses. From there it is up to you to take advantage of the situation.

Win or lose, the next day is more important

Sometimes you simply lose, no matter what

How does being afraid affect you?

Learn to love, what you are afraid of and you will win

Often people tell you to work outside of your comfort zone and expect that you will become stronger and better. I don’t fully agree to that, especially when it comes to overcoming your fears. Of course, you need experience and to be able to be outside of your comfort zone, but you also need to learn to like what you do and get the kicks out of it. If you have, for instance, a fear of heights, it won’t help you to push yourself to the limit. You will still be afraid to climb up to tall buildings. But if you look around you and love the sights you see, then you will forget your fear of heights.

So instead of pushing yourself into uncomfortable situations, where you will feel frightened, start looking at your motivation from a new perspective. In martial arts, you are actually trying to get better in fighting and that involves heavy contact. The reason for getting used to the heavy contact is to build your body and your mind to be able to evaluate, what is the best approach for you in each situation. Should you try to block, evade or counter attack. Or is it time for you to find a good spot for your attack. When you get the new perspective, you will start seeing the attacks differently. When being frightened, you can’t move yourself so well and you almost freeze to your spot. You are just waiting to get hit and likely you will get hit. But when you stop being afraid, you will move as smoothly as in your training and will be able to adjust your techniques to your opponent’s ones.

In sales, when you stop falling in love with your offers or stop being afraid to make the call, you will start to improve your results. What worked for me in sales and in fighting, was that I started to look at them as a game of chess. I didn’t mind losing a game, but I always wanted to get better. I started to analyze my game, no matter win or lose. I started to improve my weaknesses, not because of the uncomfortable situation, but because I wanted to get better. I wanted to become the best and in order to become the best, I needed to love what I was doing. I wasn’t working outside of my comfort zone anymore, I was working with what I loved. The fear was not there anymore, it was replaced by the drive for success. If I had concentrated only on improving my skills and arguments, I would not have developed the mental strength. But when I chose to not to focus on my fears, but on the strategic perspective of fighting and selling, I managed to build up a way of liking the situations, I previously was afraid of. Getting hurt is part of the game, but as long as you are not afraid of it, you have a chance in winning.

The first post about how to win a fight, when your opponent is much better than you, was about making your opponent feeling insecure by not attacking when you get a chance, but building it up and waiting patiently for the best possible chance. There is also another method and strategy, that you can use, but this requires a bit more skills from you.

When you start a boxing training, you always start with skipping rope. This improves your stamina, but also helps you to train your rhythmic skills. Moreover, this improves your body for boxing steps, which you need in fights, in order to be able to move fluently across the ring.

In sales training, you often train for open-ended questions. Those keep the conversation going on and you get the customer to talk more than you. The better questions you can come up with, the more she values your conversation and feels that you are valuable to her business. But what if, her knowledge much better than yours? Or your competitor is already doing a great job with her? And you just have only single pieces of advice that you could give to her, not the whole picture she wants?

Rousey vs Holm on paper

I watched the UFC 193 main event fight Rousey vs Holm. Rousey being a dominant champion and destroying her last 3 opponents in a mere 64 seconds in total. Holm is a well-rounded boxing champion, who has moved to mixed martial arts. But still, Holm lacked a lot of experience needed for MMA fights and Rousey had previously been dominating with her judo-background in grappling and wrestling. Even though, Holm had been training those as well, she could not have the skills to win a grappling fight against an Olympic Judo medalist, who had a perfect record in MMA of 12-0.

Sometimes, in martial arts you are facing an opponent, that clearly you should have no chance in winning. He is better in skill, more versatile and even quicker than you. He is even more experienced and has developed into a champion in no time. Your odds aren’t good, but there is still a chance to win with a perfect tactic. What could that be?

In sales, you might meet a person, who has much better knowledge on your business field. She has worked for years and has a great team supporting her. She has bought similar products and services and is highly valued among her colleagues from different companies. How to close a deal, when she clearly knows more than you and really into her business? You can’t afford to go down on price, what other options do you have?

Master knows the solution

My master in martial arts, explained me years ago about a tactic that not so many use in these kind of situations. He told me a story about the best goalkeeper in the world and how to score a goal against him. Often, coaches say that shoot as many times as possible and you will eventually score a goal. If you, as a hobby player, get a chance to shoot against a real pro, for instance, a goalie from NHL, you will not score, even if you get a chance to shoot 100 pucks. He will not make a mistake, because he has trained his whole life and the level his goalkeeping is so high, that by just trying, you will not succeed. Not even, if you try harder.

I was really surprised about how the story was going. I always thought, that you should just try harder and in the end, you would succeed. He asked me: “what technique would you use?” I answered: “I don’t know”. He continued: “you are right. You don’t know and that is the trick”. Then he explained that against the best opponent, you shouldn’t think about your technique, but make him insecure about his. You should try to dribble, use fake attacks and make all kinds of movements, but not really attack before you have made him nervous. The best fighters (and goalies in his example), need a feeling of winning and if you can challenge that, they become insecure. A goalie with no shots coming, doesn’t have a feeling of winning and gets frustrated. His head will turn against him in the long run and you have to be patient to get to that point.

How to apply the method in sales

In sales, don’t worry about your knowledge, challenge the knowledge of the buyer. Ask good questions and continue the discussion. Make new questions, based on the answers given and push the conversation further. Try to get to the limit of her knowledge and still push further (the questions have to be good and challenging) This will make the buyer more insecure of her knowledge and she will start to think that you know more than she does or at least that you have something that she doesn’t know about. She will end up by asking for your help. That is the right time to offer your solution and she will buy it. Too often, junior sales people start to talk about his solution and not getting the buyer thinking and questioning her knowledge. That kind of sales meeting will not result in sales and the buyer will not start trusting you as a service provider. In business, one way to build trust is to show that you have something that she needs. One way to build this need is to make her question her current solution.

What do you think? Can you pull this off? I have tried it many times in fighting and in sales. Sometimes I have succeeded, but not always. It sounds a lot easier than it is, but if you don’t try this method, you will not win an opponent who is much better than you. What do you got to lose?